Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
