based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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