Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
