4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
