Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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