Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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