so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she told me i tasted like america
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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