There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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