thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
