I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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