This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
