is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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