You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
