Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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