Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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