two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
