Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
