Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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