i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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