he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
