You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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