Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
