My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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