I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
