i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
