Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

saw you walking with that piece of shit

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

and that piece of shit just read that

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(765): View more from Indiana

So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?

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(620): View more from Kansas

Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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(816): View more from Missouri

this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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(607): View more from New York

Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me

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