3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
