just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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