Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize