she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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