rhymes with "ouble enetration"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
