If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
