I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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