we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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