i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
