this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
