Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
