Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
