I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
