you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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