'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
