It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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