Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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