would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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