I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize