At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
