I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
