woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
