We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
