Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
