So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize