I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
