those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
