I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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