The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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