He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
