So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
