I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
