my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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