It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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