Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
